Consern about delay in emotional delopment

I understand your consern about your son, and it is good that you have taken this consern up with the school. Even though they are not sharing your view on the situation, it is something to take seriously. 

Kids emotionoal development can differ quite a bit when they grow up. From kids who are functioning on a lower level, and others who are emotionoally mature for their age. Compared in age, we can say that the different can be viewed as a 4-5 year of maturity-difference. But the variation of what is considered "normal" is wide. This can be reassuring to know as a parent, but your consern might not be calmed enough by this. 

What we do know, is that children need to be met on their own level of maturity. So that they can grow and follow their own scale or steps in this development. If we as parents, and other adults, expect children to handle emotions better than they do, we can transfere our consern over to them and they can feel dumb or less smart because of how we react. This will again harm their self-asteem, wich also has a negative affect on their ability to grow emotionally. 

So the best advise to give you at this stage is to follow up your son, with love and delight. Have fun with him, do things together, give hugs etc. Give him good experienses with other people, both young and old, and show him in words and actions that you believe in him. Help him through his different emotions in a calm and sensitive way. 

It sounds like you have raised a boy with good manners and values. Both very important for a young boy to have. I wish you good luck and I hope that you will see him growing up and reaching his next levels of maturity in a good way when he is ready for it.